As medically needed to live & sustain life we need a heart, or we would seize to exist! Right? So, when it comes to the theory of a broken heart..I believe they are one of the same, when you try to explain the anatomy of the heart we know it functions in two's isn't this ironic?? There are two pumps in series (right & left sides), connected by two circulations, each pump equipped with two valves, the function of which is to maintain a one-way flow of blood...
Well, i can go on into the medical anatomy of the heart but tonight something hit me while studying when it comes to the heart it is always about two...as is Love.. Love is about two...two people that want to share a life or a series of events that make up a history..whether full time or part time it takes two people to make love happen...as it functions to sustain a healthy relationship it takes two! And usually flowing in the same direction as does the heart! <3 Is this a coincidence or is it fate? We were made this way, not by chance but by Love again, hmmm has to do with the heart..I can't help to think? Yep me the thinker...lol..that none of this is an accident..no not at all..
It is exactly like the function of the physical heart, and when the heart fails so does life..and when a relationship fails so is a broken heart..as in both neither are easily repaired..and both take much work & effort to sustain..life will never be with out trials and errors as no one is sheltered from a broken heart, it's how do you learn to go on once the heart has been damaged and broken, how do you repair it with out great inner strength?
I do not have the answer to such a question I can only pray that in time as a surgeon carefully masters the operation of repairing the heart organ that one can grow to repair the damage of a broken heart & learn to heal that which is crucial to maintain a healthy balance in life... I can only believe that as God has carefully crafted "US" and given each & everyone of "US" the ability to Love & that he knew what he was doing when he created "US" and he will see "US" through no matter how badly we are broken no matter how much damage our hearts have sustained he will give "US" the courage & strength to go on!!!!
A broken Heart is not easily repaired and it suffers real true pain no matter what one might think or believe, but if you have ever been in Love or Loved deeply a mate a child or a friend, you would know this pain and you know the Anatomy now of a broken heart!!! To all the broken & wounded hearts out there I feel your pain..and I do believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel..never ever give up & believe in yourself to be healed! I love you....Living to 100 loving Sunshine always ;-) Live Laugh & always Love no matter what the cost...because I do believe it is better to have lived & loved than to have never Loved at all.... God Bless ;-) .
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Living To 100 and Growing up....
I say this with much belief and commitment as if I know, know what you may ask? Know that I have the desire to want to live to 100. Oh yes I did say 100, I am 51 years old and it seems I have just woken up! Where was I all those years, how did I lose myself, where did I go? All honest questions and I'm sure I am not the first to ask them?
But one day it hit me all of a sudden, I was standing still while the whole world was passing me by! I thought everything was just fine, even though in the back of my head I knew, I felt something was terribly wrong. But I am exactly where God wants me to be, is what I would tell myself! Then again what if I am not, this went on for many many years...Then one day FB arose, that's when it hit me. It was as if a brick was thrown at my head, wow what a headache I got! The thinking began, too much thinking...Let me say without going into detail, which would be unfair. I do believe people have the right to defend themselves..so with that being said, I will move past all the hoopla of me not being happy! I realised I was still a child, not very grown up at all? I was frozen in time..living out the grown up life, but not really capable of making a grown up decision..smart yes..ok..my opinion..but a good one..lol. Had lots of knowledge on a variety of things..taking care of people, kids, grand kids, husband, everyone but me! Hey I can fix most appliances and know a lot about them? I can run an appliance store, sales, service, customer relations, But it's not the life I choose, I wanted so much more..I wanted to be a writer..a journalist..publish my novels..but I just disappeared..I took on someones vision of whom I should be. I am not saying that there were not good times, that would be a lie, I am not saying that I regret my life, I have 5 wonderful children and lots of grandchildren to show for it. But it wasn't the life I choose or feel God choose for me. I feel that was taken away, and I want a chance to have it back..
I allowed someone else to make all the decisions for me; to control me, and I was just as much to blame as they were. I now want to grow up and take my life back, I want to do all the grown up things I never did...I want to experience life.. I want to make my own choices whether right or wrong, or as many times as I may mess up I want to be in control of me...No, not a mid life crisis as you may think..and what if it is..its still my life? Okay, I get it, why all the drama you may be asking? Well, its because I am fighting good vs evil..or so I have been told..I have also had good friends tell me no such thing? So, who's right only God knows in the end..and if I am wrong then that's between me and my God.
For the most part I thought I was happy; I assumed all relationships were similar especially the religious ones! Now leaving out all the drama again that I would have to go into, and all the pain that has, and is still going on, of course by me thinking too much! I don't want to hurt anyone, I just want to live and be (me) happy, not someones version of what happiness is for me. If that makes any sense at all to you? I am fast forwarding so you don't get caught up in a whirl wind of a storm! Those that are close know the real true details, but its not even about that anymore, I have forgiven and am trying very hard to let go! However, it has gone way past that!
I have found peace in myself a true happiness that I didn't know existed, I like me I love me, I am not saying I don't love my family or my extended family, but I have to do whats right for me or I will never even come close to living to 100. This may sound selfish to some, as I have received much flack. The repercussions have been unbearably painful. There have been days I just want to throw in the towel...crawl into bed and stay there, but then a overwhelming feeling of sickness comes over me..and at that very moment I know the answer! I have to fight for what I want or give up, settle and most likely die young!
My heart breaks each and every day, knowing that I am hurting the ones I love, and the ones that love me! But there is not much I can do about it, and as God loves us all, each and everyone of us! He would no more want to see a child of his hurt and suffer, than any parent would theirs!
Living to 100 is a goal I must try to obtain, or die trying! I have missed so much of my life and have so many dreams, plans. Even if they seem unrealistic, they are mine and only mine! I feel like I have to hold on to something, or I will disappear! Some say you can still do all these things with out changing your life, I can't, I am not where I belong! My heart is gone it left a long time ago, and that I am so sorry for!
It seems I am sorry all the time anymore, and that is not fair to myself! If it were not for a very dear friend I would not have made it this far. I had become very ill over the past 5 months and already had asthma problems..which just exasperated the health issues.. I am just now gaining a few lbs and clinging to my life...I do love all my children and grand children and I do love my husband and have forgiven him..as I hope he can forgive me one day! I don't want to be enemies and I know that is unrealistic of me. I just want to live my life...is that really such a bad thing..I gave myself to my husband and my children and tried very hard to make the marriage last a life time..to death do us part! But now I am ready to move on...one doesn't change because they are forced to, they change because they want to! I gave 33 years patiently waiting and baring all I could..I am sorry if it wasn't enough, its enough for me. May I live to 100 to find what ever it is I am looking for and if I am wrong then so be it!
I make no apologies anymore to anyone, I shouldn't have to be sorry for wanted to live my own life! As much or as little that there is left..I don't want guilt or religion to try and convenience me of anything, I know in my heart what I want and need. I also know my God is a loving God and would not punish me for my choices in my life..with that being said I can now move forward..God Bless each and every one of my family and friends..and as much as some will curse FB and say it is the reason I am doing this...God speaks to us in many different ways..and reveals himself to us in ways we can't explain..FB was just a way to communicate..and express myself..so I thank you all for putting up with all the drama of my life...I thank those who always supported me and stood by me and continue to! Right or wrong this is my decision and only mine to make...love you all...living to 100
Till I FB again...ttys...Donna
But one day it hit me all of a sudden, I was standing still while the whole world was passing me by! I thought everything was just fine, even though in the back of my head I knew, I felt something was terribly wrong. But I am exactly where God wants me to be, is what I would tell myself! Then again what if I am not, this went on for many many years...Then one day FB arose, that's when it hit me. It was as if a brick was thrown at my head, wow what a headache I got! The thinking began, too much thinking...Let me say without going into detail, which would be unfair. I do believe people have the right to defend themselves..so with that being said, I will move past all the hoopla of me not being happy! I realised I was still a child, not very grown up at all? I was frozen in time..living out the grown up life, but not really capable of making a grown up decision..smart yes..ok..my opinion..but a good one..lol. Had lots of knowledge on a variety of things..taking care of people, kids, grand kids, husband, everyone but me! Hey I can fix most appliances and know a lot about them? I can run an appliance store, sales, service, customer relations, But it's not the life I choose, I wanted so much more..I wanted to be a writer..a journalist..publish my novels..but I just disappeared..I took on someones vision of whom I should be. I am not saying that there were not good times, that would be a lie, I am not saying that I regret my life, I have 5 wonderful children and lots of grandchildren to show for it. But it wasn't the life I choose or feel God choose for me. I feel that was taken away, and I want a chance to have it back..
I allowed someone else to make all the decisions for me; to control me, and I was just as much to blame as they were. I now want to grow up and take my life back, I want to do all the grown up things I never did...I want to experience life.. I want to make my own choices whether right or wrong, or as many times as I may mess up I want to be in control of me...No, not a mid life crisis as you may think..and what if it is..its still my life? Okay, I get it, why all the drama you may be asking? Well, its because I am fighting good vs evil..or so I have been told..I have also had good friends tell me no such thing? So, who's right only God knows in the end..and if I am wrong then that's between me and my God.
For the most part I thought I was happy; I assumed all relationships were similar especially the religious ones! Now leaving out all the drama again that I would have to go into, and all the pain that has, and is still going on, of course by me thinking too much! I don't want to hurt anyone, I just want to live and be (me) happy, not someones version of what happiness is for me. If that makes any sense at all to you? I am fast forwarding so you don't get caught up in a whirl wind of a storm! Those that are close know the real true details, but its not even about that anymore, I have forgiven and am trying very hard to let go! However, it has gone way past that!
I have found peace in myself a true happiness that I didn't know existed, I like me I love me, I am not saying I don't love my family or my extended family, but I have to do whats right for me or I will never even come close to living to 100. This may sound selfish to some, as I have received much flack. The repercussions have been unbearably painful. There have been days I just want to throw in the towel...crawl into bed and stay there, but then a overwhelming feeling of sickness comes over me..and at that very moment I know the answer! I have to fight for what I want or give up, settle and most likely die young!
My heart breaks each and every day, knowing that I am hurting the ones I love, and the ones that love me! But there is not much I can do about it, and as God loves us all, each and everyone of us! He would no more want to see a child of his hurt and suffer, than any parent would theirs!
Living to 100 is a goal I must try to obtain, or die trying! I have missed so much of my life and have so many dreams, plans. Even if they seem unrealistic, they are mine and only mine! I feel like I have to hold on to something, or I will disappear! Some say you can still do all these things with out changing your life, I can't, I am not where I belong! My heart is gone it left a long time ago, and that I am so sorry for!
It seems I am sorry all the time anymore, and that is not fair to myself! If it were not for a very dear friend I would not have made it this far. I had become very ill over the past 5 months and already had asthma problems..which just exasperated the health issues.. I am just now gaining a few lbs and clinging to my life...I do love all my children and grand children and I do love my husband and have forgiven him..as I hope he can forgive me one day! I don't want to be enemies and I know that is unrealistic of me. I just want to live my life...is that really such a bad thing..I gave myself to my husband and my children and tried very hard to make the marriage last a life time..to death do us part! But now I am ready to move on...one doesn't change because they are forced to, they change because they want to! I gave 33 years patiently waiting and baring all I could..I am sorry if it wasn't enough, its enough for me. May I live to 100 to find what ever it is I am looking for and if I am wrong then so be it!
I make no apologies anymore to anyone, I shouldn't have to be sorry for wanted to live my own life! As much or as little that there is left..I don't want guilt or religion to try and convenience me of anything, I know in my heart what I want and need. I also know my God is a loving God and would not punish me for my choices in my life..with that being said I can now move forward..God Bless each and every one of my family and friends..and as much as some will curse FB and say it is the reason I am doing this...God speaks to us in many different ways..and reveals himself to us in ways we can't explain..FB was just a way to communicate..and express myself..so I thank you all for putting up with all the drama of my life...I thank those who always supported me and stood by me and continue to! Right or wrong this is my decision and only mine to make...love you all...living to 100
Till I FB again...ttys...Donna
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Following Your Passion and Letting Go
Gosh where do I begin..it's like the longest journey I have ever traveled! Following your passion; what does that really mean? I think from what I've learned over the years, it's doing what you love, and loving what you do! Unfortunately the choices in life we make can detour you from ever reaching that goal, and then when you try again....you can be opening the doors to something you were never expecting!
Yes, it is scary out there, frightening to try something that you never thought possible. Mostly because you had given up your dream! Dreams are what we live for aren't they? I know I don't want to leave this earth without making my mark and finding passion my passion! Not someones version of my passion. I know that sounds petty, maybe even selfish from some point of views, but really think about, who will even care? Not many even know you exist, yeah friends family but I want more...I want the big picture..I thought I had it, but I clearly see I never did! Sometimes we hold on to certain situations because that's all we know, whether good or bad, it's all you knew to be right. Then someone comes along, holds your hand and opens your eyes, now that's scary, seeing for the first time! I could only imagine; it would be like, being blind and suddenly one day your sight was restored....there would be so much to take in at once, you may overload and short circuit... but I am willing to find out. That's a decision I can live with, I want to live, I want to love, I want to be whole. I don't believe such things are possible without hurting someone somewhere along the line, but that responsibility I can't accept anymore. It's too much to carry around!
I think not following your passion and hearts desire, will surely kill you in the end. Death will be inevitable and you don't get a second chance at that! So, with this in mind I say let go..let go of what ever it is that holds you back, robs you, hurts you, and blinds you from the truth! A very dear friend once told me to follow my passion because I deserved it! I know I can and I will die trying.......
Yes, it is scary out there, frightening to try something that you never thought possible. Mostly because you had given up your dream! Dreams are what we live for aren't they? I know I don't want to leave this earth without making my mark and finding passion my passion! Not someones version of my passion. I know that sounds petty, maybe even selfish from some point of views, but really think about, who will even care? Not many even know you exist, yeah friends family but I want more...I want the big picture..I thought I had it, but I clearly see I never did! Sometimes we hold on to certain situations because that's all we know, whether good or bad, it's all you knew to be right. Then someone comes along, holds your hand and opens your eyes, now that's scary, seeing for the first time! I could only imagine; it would be like, being blind and suddenly one day your sight was restored....there would be so much to take in at once, you may overload and short circuit... but I am willing to find out. That's a decision I can live with, I want to live, I want to love, I want to be whole. I don't believe such things are possible without hurting someone somewhere along the line, but that responsibility I can't accept anymore. It's too much to carry around!
I think not following your passion and hearts desire, will surely kill you in the end. Death will be inevitable and you don't get a second chance at that! So, with this in mind I say let go..let go of what ever it is that holds you back, robs you, hurts you, and blinds you from the truth! A very dear friend once told me to follow my passion because I deserved it! I know I can and I will die trying.......
Friday, November 20, 2009
Twitter with me...........
Gosh,
So much has been going on, really not enough hours in the day! My new adventure is Twitter, yep finally took the plunge and joined the world of twitter. Haven't a clue what I am doing, but I am sure it will work itself out. So, join me and twitter along, we can help each other.
We finally are getting a break in the weather and I am just loving it! I am a coffee lover so you can imagine what the cool weather does for that! Yummy, trying not to over load as I am working on a novel and don't want to over stimulate! Plus everything in moderation, everything and that includes coffee!
Just touching base so you know I am alive and well, I will be around, look forward to hearing from you on twitter! Have a great and blessed day!
Chatterbox
So much has been going on, really not enough hours in the day! My new adventure is Twitter, yep finally took the plunge and joined the world of twitter. Haven't a clue what I am doing, but I am sure it will work itself out. So, join me and twitter along, we can help each other.
We finally are getting a break in the weather and I am just loving it! I am a coffee lover so you can imagine what the cool weather does for that! Yummy, trying not to over load as I am working on a novel and don't want to over stimulate! Plus everything in moderation, everything and that includes coffee!
Just touching base so you know I am alive and well, I will be around, look forward to hearing from you on twitter! Have a great and blessed day!
Chatterbox
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